Every brain is unique. The way we think, feel, and interact with the world varies from person to person. ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is one of many forms of neurodiversity. It’s not about being careless or disorganised; it’s about the way the brain is wired.
For adults with ADHD:
It’s biological, not a choice. ADHD begins in childhood and continues into adulthood. It’s not a matter of effort or willpower.
It affects regulation, not intelligence. ADHD influences how the brain manages focus, emotions, and impulses. It has nothing to do with intelligence. Many adults with ADHD are creative, resourceful, and insightful thinkers.
It involves executive function challenges. The brain’s 'management system', responsible for planning, prioritising, and following through, works differently.
You may find it hard to stay focused, manage time, or start tasks. These challenges can lead to frustration, low confidence, or tension in relationships. But they are understandable, and they can be improved.
So, what's actually different in the ADHD brain?
1. Neurotransmitter Differences
The most significant difference involves two neurotransmitters: dopamine and noradrenaline (also called norepinephrine).
Dopamine is involved in motivation, reward, and pleasure. It helps us feel satisfied when we complete tasks and motivates us to pursue goals.
In ADHD brains, dopamine signalling is less efficient. There's either not enough dopamine being produced, or it's not being transmitted effectively between neurons.
This means your partner will be affected by:
Less motivation to do tasks that aren't immediately rewarding
Difficulty sustaining effort on boring or routine tasks
Constantly seeking stimulation to boost dopamine (which leads to novelty-seeking behaviour)
Stronger pull toward activities that provide immediate dopamine hits – which can lead to addictive tendencies
Noradrenaline is involved in alertness, attention, and responding to stress (that fight/flight response). It helps us focus and filter out distractions.
In ADHD brains, noradrenaline regulation is also affected, which contributes to:
Difficulty sustaining attention
Being easily distracted
Problems with alertness and stress regulation
Another neurotransmitter that has also been linked to ADHD is Serotonin. This regulates our mood, sleep, appetite, emotions, and thought processes. It works closely with Dopamine and can also contribute to: hyperactivity, impulsivity and challenges with emotional regulation.
This is why ADHD medications (stimulants, non-stimulants and antidepressants) work for some people. They increase the availability of these neurotransmitters in the brain, which helps improve attention, emotional regulation and executive functions.
Oestrogen plays an important part for women with ADHD. Oestrogen helps support dopamine and serotonin activity, so when levels fluctuate through the menstrual cycle or fall significantly during perimenopause and menopause, ADHD symptoms often intensify.
Many women notice increased difficulty with focus, memory, organisation, mood regulation and stress tolerance at certain times of the month, or a sharp increase in symptoms during midlife. This can lead to late diagnosis, as signs may have been masked earlier in life or mistaken for anxiety or hormonal change.
Understanding this connection is important, since treatment and support may need adjusting during hormonal transitions.
2. Structural Differences
Brain imaging studies have shown that certain areas of the ADHD brain are slightly smaller or develop more slowly.
The prefrontal cortex: This is the brain's ‘executive control centre’: where our Executive Functions live. It's responsible for planning, decision-making, impulse control, and working memory. I’ll talk a bit more about executive functions in another video. In ADHD, this area often shows reduced activity and can be slower to mature (sometimes not fully developing until the late 20s or early 30s).
The Limbic System: This is made up of a group of structures: the Amygdala, Thalamus, Cingulate Gyrus and Basal Ganglia. Together, these are responsible for processing and regulating emotions and social behaviours, they relay information to other parts of the brain, and have a role in motivation and reward processing. Differences here can cause issues with emotional regulation, motivation, task initiation, distractibility and impulsivity.
The Anterior Cingulate Cortex (or the ACC): This region is involved in decision making, emotional processing and cognitive control. It acts as an integration centre, connecting with other brain areas like the frontal cortex, and limbic system structures. Issues here can contribute to poor decision making, and emotional dysregulation.
The cerebellum: This area helps with motor control and timing, and supports cognitive processing. So, issues here affects time perception and attention - major challenges in ADHD.
Now, these differences are subtle. We're talking about variations, not dramatic abnormalities. But even small differences in these critical areas can have significant impacts on daily functioning.
3. Connectivity Differences
It's not just about individual brain regions, it's also about how they communicate with each other.
In ADHD brains, there's often:
Reduced connectivity between the prefrontal cortex and other brain regions
Differences in the default mode network (the brain network active when you're not focused on a task)
Challenges with switching between different brain networks
This affects the ability to:
Shift attention smoothly
Move from rest to task engagement
Filter relevant from irrelevant information
In our daily lives, we are constantly faced with numerous tasks and challenges that require us to make decisions, plan ahead, and stay organised. These abilities are all part of what cognitive psychologists refer to as 'executive functions'.
Having strong executive functions is essential for success in both personal and professional life. People with well-developed executive skills tend to be more organised, efficient, and better able to handle stress. They are also more likely to reach their goals and succeed.
There are numerous executive functions, and everyone has a unique executive function footprint, but these can be grouped into 11 specific areas:
1. Response Inhibition
Pausing before reacting or speaking.
If this is challenging: you may say things impulsively or act before thinking.
2. Emotion Regulation
Managing emotions in a healthy way.
If this is challenging: frustration or shame may surface quickly, and it can be hard to calm down.
3. Working Memory
Holding and using information while completing a task.
If this is challenging: you might forget steps or lose track of details mid-task.
4. Task Initiation
Starting tasks promptly without procrastination.
If this is challenging: getting started may feel overwhelming until the last possible moment.
5. Planning and Prioritising
Organising steps and focusing on what matters most.
If this is challenging: you may spend too long on one task or feel unsure where to begin.
6. Organisation
Managing time, belongings, and information effectively.
If this is challenging: clutter and missed deadlines can become common frustrations.
7. Sustained Attention
Maintaining focus despite distractions.
If this is challenging: your attention may drift, especially with repetitive or dull tasks.
8. Time Management
Estimating, allocating, and keeping track of time.
If this is challenging: you may underestimate how long things take or find it hard to meet deadlines.
9. Cognitive Flexibility
Adapting to change and adjusting plans when things shift.
If this is challenging: you may struggle to switch focus or find new approaches when things don’t go as planned.
10. Metacognition
Reflecting on your own actions and learning from experience.
If this is challenging: you may find it hard to self-correct or see what’s not working.
Executive function skills can be strengthened over time. With the right support and practical tools, adults with ADHD - and their partners - can create meaningful, lasting change.
If this resonates with you, start with Start with a free 30-minute online discovery session. We’ll discuss what you’re finding challenging, explore your needs and your goals, and I’ll explain exactly how coaching works.
Coaching is built on trust, without it coaching does not work. So, on the call I won't ask you to sign up to coaching sessions. You need time to think. I will send you more information after the call and ask you to contact me when and if you are ready. No sales, and no pressure.